My Happy Place

Mother's Day creates almost as much guilt as it does good feeling. Most Mother's Days I find myself bouncing between these extremes, but this year was different.

All I felt was gratitude.

Gratitude for my own imperfect mother who strives to be better every day. My mom is my opposite in most ways. She is kind and quiet. She loves to sit back and watch the miracles of life. And she devotes herself to serving those she loves whenever possible. I am so grateful that I was raised a woman of her strength and character.

Most of all, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the seven blessings who made me a mom. A quick text and voicemail from Heidi in Idaho. Tucker hugs in church. Flowers from Lily. A heartfelt card from Micah. A sweetly regifted teddy bear from Hyrum. A school-made necklace to treasure from Eve.

And . . .

 . . . through the miracle of technology, a Skype session with Ben.

He is so happy. He's working hard and learning about himself and God.

Probably the best moment of the call was when he started spurting Spanish and Tucker stood over my shoulder and translated for me. It brought me to tears--these two boys of mine who are now men, sharing experiences and language and finally, after 20 years of being brothers, are friends.

I am so far from the perfect mom. I know it and they know it. When you first glimpse that screaming new baby, you don't fully understand how your world will change--what you will learn and how you will grow. Now, 25 years into motherhood, I know they have been the best years of my life, with so many more to come, surrounded by this family of ours.