Whole Hearted

My word for the year is 

heart

You can read about it here.

I have a confession to make.

It may have been obvious to you. I like to think not, but I deceive myself more often than I admit.

My attention has been distracted from my blog in the past few weeks.

Mr. Van Gogh and I have something in common. (It's not the art thing, that's for sure. And it's not the ear thing--promise.)

I have put every drop of everything I have to give into finding my path after graduation: Is it teaching? Is it advocacy? Is it a doctorate? Is it . . . What is it?

I don't know where to go or what to do with myself.

I found out that I can't teach at a public school (even with a degree in curriculum and instruction) without a teaching certificate. Earning a teaching certificate would require another 18 months and a second master's degree. Is that what I want? Not really. I could teach at a charter school, but is that what I want? I don't know if I want to be tied down like that.

I have worked tirelessly to convince MPS that change in their gifted education program is necessary to keep up with current practices. I seem to get nowhere with them, but I'm ever hopeful that on one occasion, just one thing will crack their shell and they will be ready to implement change. Until that time, I don't know where else to go or what else to do. It's a very discouraging place to find myself.

I looked into getting my doctorate. I love the idea of staying in academia and completing some long-term research relating to the effectiveness of gifted education--tracking students from kindergarten through graduation and on into college to see what really does work and what is a waste of time and resources. Unfortunately, the program that intrigues me most is in  . . . Connecticut. UCONN. Home of Renzulli and McCoach and other leading scholars in the field. Yeah. My family wouldn't be too thrilled to move to CN for a year. I might be up for the adventure, but then the question still lingers: What will I do from there? What will a doctorate give me that would be worth the investment?

I've researched it out. I've thought about it. I've put out feelers and sent inquiring emails. I've prayed about it. I've tried to force it on a few occasions and tried to pull back on others.

Nothing is coming. No answer.

Honestly, I have put my heart and soul into my work, and I have loved what I've received in return. Now where do I go from here?

I'm a bit lost.

Suggestions?