Finding Passion All Over Again

It's my birthday.

Thanks. I will have a great day.

Last year, I had big, great achievements to mark--improved photography, scripture study, and yoga, plus the beginning of my graduate program in gifted education. I ran a half-marathon that same weekend, and I was in the best shape I'd been in in years.

What do I have to show this year?

Well.

I'm still taking photos, but not nearly as many as last year. My scripture study has been inconsistent, and my busy summer took me away from my yoga mat too much and has left my body tight and unyielding.

When I look at what I lost this last year, it makes me a little discouraged. So many of the things that I love in life took a back seat this year. And while I may not be able to run a half marathon this weekend or complete an Ashtanga class without being exhausted the next day, I have learned one important thing this last year. The most important lesson I learned the year I was 44 is this:

Passion comes at a price.

When I started my master's program a year ago, I never thought I would lose myself completely in journal articles, textbooks, and research papers. I didn't know how much I would learn about Pavlovian conditioning and affective skills--and other random terms that no one knows.

Mostly, I didn't know how much I would love being back in school. All of that school learning comes at a high price--time away from other things that I love.

With only two semesters left until I graduate, I see the end of the road, and greeting me there will be all of the hobbies and activities I've always loved: design, projects, auctions, exercise, recreational reading. All of it will still be there, but for now my priority is school--with everything else filling in the cracks as it can.

What really surprises me about this revelation is this:

That's okay. 

I don't have to do it all to be happy.  

A year ago, I couldn't have said that. For the past 44 years, I couldn't have said that.

I guess I have learned something huge and amazing this year:

Passion is worth the price.