Why Do I Blog?

I've been pondering this question for a few months now.

Blogging for me has been an ever-changing experience.

When I first started blogging, way back in November 2008, I was captivated by Stephanie Nielson's story. I had never read her blog before her accident, but I became enveloped in her recovery. I met a few bloggers through comments on her blog and on her sister's, CJane, and a few friends had blogs of their own, so I jumped in.

I remember feeling a little embarrassed to tell people that I was "blogging."  Luckily, my friends and family reluctantly added me to their google readers.  I was blogging for over two months before I received a comment from a "stranger."  That was exhilarating, and a little addicting.  I have found a core group of women--all across the country and a few around the world--with whom I visit regularly.  Some a few times a week, some daily.  I consider you all friends and wish somehow I could host a huge "Denton Sanatorium Gala Weekend" and have you all fly in for a girls' weekend of chatting and chowing.  I can dream, right?

For a while, I became obsessed with the number of comments, followers, and page hits per day.  I participated in a few different memes, I tried commenting on blogs I liked, hoping they'd be my friend and read my drivel in return.  That was exhausting and time-consuming, but I had a hard time letting go of the whole "popularity game."

Of late, that popularity pull has gotten weaker and weaker.  I still wonder why one post generates many comments, and others only one or two.  Sometimes my feelings are temporarily bruised when I see a friend has commented on someone else's post and not mine.  But I've been consciously trying to change my focus of why I blog.

Yesterday, a friend posted this--Blogs and Dodos.  I knew it was time to tie my thoughts together into a somewhat cohesive ball and share them with you.

Why I blog now, today, September 2011:

I realize I'll never be NieNie.
I understand my piddly attempts at design will never make Miss Mustard Seed.
I know I'm not as profound and deep and intelligent as . . . I don't really read anybody like that, anyway.  Do you?

What I have come to understand is this:  I blog for me.  Sometimes I blog to brag about my auction finds and what I've done with them.  Sometimes I blog to share some great mothering idea that I've finally implemented.  Sometimes I blog to show off my beautiful, amazing kids. Sometimes I blog about TV or politics or society, just because I find it interesting at the moment.  Sometimes I blog to reestablish connections with those of you who are far away, and many of you whom I have never met and probably never will. 

Bottom line is I always blog for me.  I think I'm finally ready to accept the position this blog plays in my life--it's for me, and for those of you who follow along on this ride, thank you.  And if all of you end up deserting the blog world for Facebook or Twitter or some grand technology not yet in place, that's fine.  I will still be here.

I'm not the fanciest or the best dressed or the smartest or the funniest or most creative.

I'm just me.  Head administrator at the Denton Sanatorium.

And I'm fine with that.