Thursday, June 17, 2010

V is for Vacancy

When that sweet new baby is placed in your arms for the first time, this day doesn't even cross your mind.

This is how I feel.
I'm in the background yelling, "Stop!" and he still drives away.

It's what we want, right? Independent kids that move on and develop into independent adults?
Why? Why does it hurt so much to see them grow and leave?  First Heidi leaves and then gets married, and now this.  Twice in two years is too much.

All that's left behind:

an unmatched sock

a tuning fork

childhood bedding 
a little trash

and all the memories


There's a vacancy at the Sanatorium.  But it can never be filled.


. . . and then there were five.
blog
This is a companion post to yesterday's post on what we will miss about Tucker.

Linking to V at Alphabe-Thursday.

Jenny Matlock

60 comments:

  1. What an interesting & reflective post. Am sure you have great memories.

    LOLA:)

    PS Mine this week is HERE. Hope you can join me!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am crying for you.
    Really, I am.

    ReplyDelete
  3. He certainly is worth being missed. He is such a sweetheart.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This post gave me chills! It's proof that eventually they really do go up and move out.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I was fine until the picture of him holding his younger brother. Those of us with much younger children push those thoughts way back and think that the time when our children leave us is forever away. I hope when the day comes I will be able to handle the situation with as much grace as you seem to be handling it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You have done your job well, but that doesn't lessen the pain. I don't know what I'll do when it's time for my baby to leave the house.

    ReplyDelete
  7. That picture with his little bro did me in. I'm so sorry mama. Hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This will be hard for me someday. I don't look forward to an empty room.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This made me cry because I related to it so much. I remember looking in those empty rooms and feeling the stillness. It's so hard to get used to.

    And the one of him hugging his little brother killed me.

    "/

    PS. On the upside, the stillness turns to clean-ness, and that part you DO get used to!

    ReplyDelete
  10. It is so hard to be a Mommy. When I drove my kids to university, moved them into their room and then had to drive away leaving them there, it nearly killed me. For two weeks I cried every day. Then as I heard how much fun they were having and the friends they were making and all the good things happening in their lives, I cheered up. I still miss them a LOT, but I know that everything is as it should be, that they are growing up and becoming the responsible adults we have always hoped they would be. It is good.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am sad for us and excited for T. And just a little jealous of him too. Those were such great years!!!

    Love ya T.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oooohhh... that made me tear up! I remember the empty but not yet cleaned up rooms, with the single socks and items left behind. Like a dagger in the heart. I feel your pain. But Sue is right - you do get used to the extra room and the CLEAN. But it's always happily traded for the chaos of visits home. You'll cry a little at first, but you'll be fine. I'll be thinking of you.
    ps - Send lots of care packages - it helps. They miss you as much as you miss them - well, almost.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh sweet Jen!

    He may never LIVE at home again and he certainly has grown from that little boy into manhood (you wouldn't choose for his body to grown but his mind and spirit not) but he WILL come home again!

    Hugs to you, Lady!
    You are loved!

    ReplyDelete
  14. My heart is breaking...I know this is what we hope for our Children, but the day always seems so far away. I have one more year until my first son takes flight...I will cherish the "no vacancy" everyday...thanks for the reminder.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ok, I have to admit the hug picture got me. Made me teary. Can't imagine sending them off someday.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ok, I have to admit the hug picture got me. Made me teary. Can't imagine sending them off someday.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh man! I don't even like thinking of this! I only have one child and he's twelve and I think he's going to live with me forever. I'm right, right? RIGHT? {excuse me while I go breathe into a paper bag}

    ReplyDelete
  18. Even knowing this post was coming soon it still got to me. I saw him heading into the church last night & couldn't believe it would be the last time he'd smile & wave across the way. I hope they have a safe trip and thank goodness you have a few years before Ben leaves!

    ReplyDelete
  19. You are breaking my heart, sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm seriously crying. Man...I really don't want that day to come, and yet I know it will. Posts like this make me want to cherish and enjoy every single minute I can with my kids...even when they're driving me crazy!. Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  21. I will never forget leaving our daughter at the dorm her first year of college. The drive home was the longest car ride I've ever experienced in my life. But she had such a wonderful experience, and blossomed into such a beautiful young woman, that I know it was worth the heartache. Your Tucker sounds like an amazing young man, I know how proud you must be. Time to share him with the world, as hard as it is. Hugs, Kathy

    ReplyDelete
  22. oh honey the tears are rolling down my face....how do we mothers ever get through the *next* stage???
    melissa x

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oh you have just made me cry...this must be a very heart-breaking time for you. My little man is 10 and the thought of him leaving home...well... I just don't want to think about it!

    Thinking of you.

    Best wishes,
    Natasha.

    ReplyDelete
  24. STOP making me cry! It's getting ridiculous! I DON'T do change, i just don't. And i'm even more bitter that i didn't make it over for a goodbye. Stupid workshop and life. UGH!

    Good thing he'll be home for a few holidays before the mish.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I just have one and i am dreading this day ... i totally get ya ... i really do ...

    ReplyDelete
  26. Just making a guess here...twice in two years...mission then college? Great post...bittersweet. My oldest is at girls camp for the first time this week. I can't imagine sending her off to college or on a mission, both of which she wants to do.

    ReplyDelete
  27. My son left last year and he was quite old but left the state. I was very sad but I tried to think about the adventure he was going to have and how much he would learn about himself. I miss him terribly but I know it's something that had to be done. Hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Can't even imagine what those days will be like when they get here.
    Thinking of you....

    ReplyDelete
  29. Totally crushed by this ! I'm going through this too with my oldest, so sad. Looking forward to the years of a relationship with a young adult, but still, it rips your heart out and tears it to shreds. What a heartfelt wonderful post and a reminder of what is truly important.

    xo
    Kate

    ReplyDelete
  30. Yep...I know exactly what you are talking about..and feeling..I just went through the same thing.

    You can read it HERE

    ((hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  31. Wow! You put me in tears. The picture of the boys hugging did me in. I don't ever want that day to come. I think I just need to keep having more babys so I am not so sad when the big ones leave. Thanks for preparing me for what is to come. I think I will enjoy every moment a little more. Your blog is very inspiring.

    ReplyDelete
  32. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I can not even begin to think how this feels. I even ventured to read your last post about all the things that would be missed...My heart is sad. Beautiful post ~ Thanks for sharing this and reminding us what can easily be taken for granted each day. {I'm going to go give my little guy a big hug right now - I need to cherish these years} ~ Stephanie Lynn

    ReplyDelete
  34. My son's name is Tucker, too! I can only imagine what it will be like the day he drives away from home to start his own adventures in life. And he's only 2 and a half!

    Your post made me cry but in it I could also see how much love your family has...I hope our family has that much love still when our son is leaving home for the first time as an on-the-verge adult.

    Stopping by from Clover Lane!

    ReplyDelete
  35. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I don't know how I will handle it when the time comes. Love this. Makes me want to hold on to every single day like I may never get it back. Thanks for the wake up call!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Wow. This post made me cry! My girls are only 3.5 & 21 months and I am already dreading that day!
    P.S. You have a beautiful family! I am your newest follower (#100!!!) Can't wait to read more!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Ahhh... That breaks my heart. I just wanna lock mine into their rooms...but that is not looked on very well. So I guess I will have to take a piece of them everyday.
    Nice post, Jen, as always!

    ReplyDelete
  39. After the last 2 nights, I wasn't planning on crying tonight, too. Too late :) Thanks for shaping him into who he is. In case you haven't counted yet, only 60 more days til he's back. :)

    ReplyDelete
  40. Hugs to you....what a beautiful post. I'm in tears here with you sweetie....

    ReplyDelete
  41. awww....this post and the previous one...they just make the tears come out of me. I'm sorry for your pain. Just remember that you've raised an incredible person and that he will always know that he has a loving home to come back to.

    ReplyDelete
  42. sweet! That is two years ahead for me and I am not ready... seeing your pictures made is a little tooo real! Thank you for sharing! Love your blog and your mission! You are very inspiring!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Oh, Dang. I am so not looking forward to this. K started the countdown, yesterday at 61 days. He was sweet to come over and hug all of us, too.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Stop. Just stop. You're making me cry.

    ReplyDelete
  45. This was really sweet. I saw your link on Clover Lane. I am your newest follower. I can't wait to read more. Nice to meet you. Have a great weekend!
    Bonnie

    ReplyDelete
  46. Hugs for you and your family. Wow, that sock, how many times do we tell them to pick them up? Now, it is just laying there, I can't even think about it yet, ugh, so sorry. I know it must be so hard, an adventure is in store for him I am sure. Many, many hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Three of mine have been gone for two days. I miss them, but have loved the quiet...but, am not ready for them to move out...Joni

    ReplyDelete
  48. Ages old dilemma...I feel your sadness...they wear us out and then they are gone...we are left to pick up the pieces and they are off putting the pieces of their lives together. Nice post...Peace and blessings

    ReplyDelete
  49. Wow, what a beautiful post! It is so hard. And I feel your sadness. Hang in there! Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  50. be still my heart... I can not imagine! may your heart be filled with memories that make you smile this week! =)

    ReplyDelete
  51. Happy V-Day. Great post! I blogged yesterday about my little girl graduating kindergarten and how sad I felt because the year went by too fast. I can already feel the day coming when she'll be going off to college. It seems like it all happens so fast!

    ReplyDelete
  52. Oh Jen, I am both shivering and crying from this post.

    What a poignant and personal stop on our little journey through Alphabe-Thursday's Letter "V".

    I wish I could tell you it gets easier...and it will, just a bit. But it takes a long time.

    It's funny, you raise them to leave and be independent and successful and it is such a double edged sword...just another Mother's sacrifice to make their children whole.

    Hugs to you sweet lady on this day of bitter and sweet.

    A+ for courage.
    A+ for your words.
    A+ for sharing your heart.

    ReplyDelete
  53. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Well that was so sweet and poignant. Well said. I know too well. What a truly adorable family you have. I found you through Sarah. A new blog for me to read! Yippee!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Ouch...You made me cry...AGAIN! You really have a talent with words and pictures. My Jacob has been gone for just over 2 weeks and I have missed him terribly. I dread the day when he truly goes away...whether for school, a mission, or whatever. I can't imagine not having him around all the time.

    How wonderful that you have raised such a fabulous boy worth missing. You and Brad deserve a pat on the back!

    ReplyDelete
  56. A vacancy that will never be filled...indeed!
    Yes...this is what we hope for, but we do not ever want to see it come.
    He will flourish and you will be okay! Right?
    Will you say these words to me in a few years when I post a similar post?

    ReplyDelete
  57. I still miss Tucker, too. :(

    ReplyDelete
  58. Is that how it happens? I'll hold my boys a little closer today.

    ReplyDelete
  59. I know I am a little late on this one. But, this made me cry too. I recently "lost" my "baby" to the big girl world and by far it has been the hardest part of my job as a mother to date. This mama's heart was crushed! I wish I could of...would of known how painful letting her go was going to be. Maybe I could have prepared better? Probably not. Sigh...
    Lovely post.

    http://thissweetcountrylife.blogspot.com/2010/05/evolution.html

    I wrote about it too a few weeks back.

    Kristin

    ReplyDelete