Miss Me?

Have you missed me? Did you notice that I haven't posted in . . . 4 days? Did you care?
Life from the bed does get monotonous, so there's not a whole lot of excitement to post.
I am in the middle of the fifth Harry Potter, having finished the first four in 6 days. I'm losing a little steam on them though. But I won't let you down, Karen!
Mom and my sister Karen are coming tomorrow! Yay! For four days I will have live-in help that I can truly ask anything of (it's the live-in part that will be scrumptious!).

I have a kid conundrum. Parenting problem. Anger issue.

My handsome, brilliant, fantastic oldest son, bless his soul, has a flaw or two. He was born, like his mother, with little to no tact, and an inability to recognize when he is hurtful. After people get to know him, it's usually not much of an issue. People realize it's just Tuck, and they overlook most things he says.
Well, he's in the middle of getting seven 16-17 year-old guys to organize what they're doing for prom on Saturday. That's hard, even in a mom's world. But he has a wrench thrown into the mix, where a girl was asked late, and she's trying to find a group to fit into. Without incriminating anyone, she and Tucker were discussing some things, and he said something to her that accidentally hurt her feelings. Later Sunday evening, she sent me the contents of the text. It was plain to me to see how she'd been offended. So I brought the perpetrator in. I explained why what he'd said was offensive, and he, of course, had not seen in from that perspective. He texted her back with, "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. Have all further communication for prom come through (her date)."
Yesterday afternoon, her mother called me, wondering if I was aware what had happened between the kids. And I told her that I was, and that Tucker had apologized. She retorted, "Well, as of 11 or 11:30 last night, he hadn't." So I told her I'd investigate. I requested his phone, and then I read all the messages. That's how I know exactly what was said. After receiving the above text, she replied with messages like, "You don't really mean it," etc., and the discussion deteriorated from there. But when I saw that he had actually followed my instructions and apologized, I thought it would end there.
How wrong I was.
Last night, Tucker received a text from another friend, saying how the girl was blowing the entire thing out of proportion and how he refused to apologize. Then, the kicker. The girl's mom called another mom and vented about how horrible he is. Now we've crossed into another whole realm of issues. I brought Tucker into my sanctuary and explained to him that I thought he should call the mom and apologize to her. WHY? Because it would teach him valuable skills of apologizing when he doesn't think he's wrong, and that her mom would know that he really had apologized to her daughter, and that he really was sorry. It took me 20 minutes to convince him to call her. Now, I readily admit that must have beeen one of the most difficult things for him to ever do. So I sat next to him, thinking, "She will realize he truly is sorry, and then this will all blow over."

How wrong I was again.
This mother didn't believe him, didn't listen to him, didn't even give him a chance to talk. In fact, she kept interrupting him and talking over him, as Tucker was calm and polite. I heard him say at least three times that he had apologized, and he would really appreciate if R. would just stop telling other people about it. It was absolutely awful. And it went on for at least 3-4 minutes.
Then, of course, as the mother bear, I couldn't stand it another minute. So I asked for the phone. This is a person that I know. Not a mom I've never met. I thought we could discuss this issue as reasonable adults. When I got on the phone, she wouldn't even let me talk. And I lost it. So angry at this woman. She immediately handed the phone to her husband, so finally I could have a rational talk with a rational adult. I asked if either of them had read the texts between the kids. No. I told him I had, and I readily admitted that Tucker is missing the tact gene, and that he can be offensive, even when he doesn't realize it. He added a few blows of Tucker's other faults, which I acknowledged. I know there are two sides to every story, and I fully expect them to take their daughter's side. To which he said there are actually three sides, his hers and somewhere in the middle is what really happened. See? He at least was reasonable.
Then, without pointing out any of their famlies' failings or faults, I just asked that this be dropped and that they both stop telling everyone. He was reasonable, and he said that he would investigate.
Wow. Did my lesson on apologizing backfire, or what? It was appalling to see an adult treat a teenager like that. Especially when he was admitting fault. We'll have to see what happens at school today, how many more people know, and if anyone else gets involved.

This is my question:
Should I have made him call the mom?


This is tucker. i'm overjoyed that y'alls learned from my ordeal. i; however, didn't. your comments seem to convey a message that i will have better relations with this girl in the future. you overlook one SUPER important fact. i never really wanna see this girl again. frankly, i'd rather she move to dobson (not that i'm bitter of course, i just want her to git her bootay offa my turf.) also i'm glad that someone thinks it didn't backfire, because it backfired like a......back...fire.........r.......... anyway... it backfired, and i pretty much am scarred for life from red headed peoples. also, i was asked about four times why in the heck i called dramatica (kinda like electra, but less intimidating sounding... its supposed to be this girl, i don't know what's up with "r" because dramatica is way cooler...) ugly, stupid, fat, slutty, and various other things. see how the truth is stretched??? also i'm not a horrible person, just a hasty, impulsive, but extremely attractive young man seeking a job, so if you know one...it would certainly help get my mom off my back.